Take note of these tips on how to become immune to the stress of those around you so it doesn't affect youm
Glass half full, glass half empty… Is that really the point? The truth is that complaining is part of life, and even in our best moments we will always find something that bothers us. Too hot, too cold, it rained, it hasn't rained in days, public transportation, traffic, having kids, not having kids, bills to pay. But let he who is without sin cast the first stone!
In fact, complaining itself isn't the problem. According to Galileu magazine, research cited on The Atlantic website showed that people who complain more consciously—meaning they have a goal and an outcome in mind—are happier than those who simply badmouth everything without motivation. In other words: if I complain about a coworker who is delaying my work, but deep down it's because I genuinely care about my job, that complaint releases a frustration that deserves attention and can bring benefits, such as different perspectives on solving the problem.
But of course balance is everything in life, and complaining too much has its downsides. Especially for the person listening to someone else's complaints. And that is why stress in the workplace can be so exhausting: as if your own routine dissatisfactions weren't enough, you also pile on the ones you didn't even notice before — but start noticing after hearing someone else talk about them.
The symbiosis of stress
"Naturally and unconsciously, we pick up other people's emotions, just like we can catch a cold," explains Laurie Santos, Ph.D., cognitive scientist and psychology professor at Yale University.
So yes, stress is very contagious. This happens because deep down we are animals, and paying attention to other people's stress sends us a danger alert signal and mobilizes our internal resources for flight—even if today the threat is more symbolic than an actual predator.
In 2010, neuroscientist Tony W. Buchanan, a professor at St. Louis University (USA), managed to prove that stress experienced by others can have an impact on us. In his study, he evaluated cortisol levels in individuals who merely witnessed stressful situations in other people. The results, published in the academic journal Social Neuroscience, indicated that observers showed an increase in stress hormone levels.
What to do to avoid contagion?
Of course, you can't simply block that coworker who is always stressed, nor can you invalidate their feelings (which, as we mentioned earlier, may indeed have a meaningful motivation). What is in your control is finding ways to deal with the situation, whether by looking for solutions to the current stressor, or by having empathy for the other person and for yourself. That empathy also means taking breaks, reading a book, eating something enjoyable, and fitting moments of decompression into your workday.
If you think these short breaks might harm you, you couldn't be more wrong! They will be motivating and bring new ideas and inspiration to make your day even more productive, free from the pressure that shared stress can bring.
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